Sitting
impatiently at the red light I glanced at my watch. I
only had five minutes to get where I was going. It was
the longest red light of my life.
I
became a steaming tea kettle by the time I passed under
the light! As I drove I thought about how bunched I had
become. I thought of how my upset didn't make the red
light turn green any faster.
Frankly
the only affect my anxiety made was on ME! In a very costly
way! I noticed myself shift in a very small way from peace
to pissed. And the light did what it was going to do all
along! And my not liking it did nothing but keep me in
a darn huff.
"If
I accept it or them, then they win"!
"I
cannot accept something that I don't want or believe in."
A
conceding of sorts, that's how we often view acceptance.
I remember fighting the idea of accepting a thing or two
about my wife because I just didn't like 'em! And if I
accepted them then that would give her the nod to just
stay the way she was. I couldn't do that! After all, she
HAD to change and it was my job to make sure she knew
that I knew that!
I
also just couldn't accept my financial crash a few years
ago. I wouldn't let it be. I did not want to see myself
as having failed so I fought it. And fought it. And fought
it. And one of us lost. Guess who?
Yep,
about the only thing in town to do when I don't accept
something is to fight it. Fighting often looks like subtle
resistance. Funny thing about love and life: You fight
'em, you never win. And so I began to understand that
my unwillingness to Accept people and things in my life
only kept me countering and resisting them. And in that
place of resisting them, I shot myself in the foot. I
not only kept my undies in a wad but I also cut myself
off from the ability to connect with and engage with them
on any level of truth or genuineness. I mean, after all...you
can't connect with your opponent! Ever seen two
football players holding hands? Can't happen!
You
can't hold hands with your opponent, and whatever you're
not accepting in life, you're opposing. And in that state,
you've crippled your effectiveness. Whether you feel it
of not, your innards are bunched and it's showing up in
what you're doing and saying and thinking and fearing
and scheming. You are NOT present.
Remember
being sick and refusing to admit it? Remember how your
fighting it only made life miserable until you finally
just gave in? Remember that busted water pump on vacation?
Put a real damper in the day didn't it? Know why? You
fought it. It was a broken pump! Regardless of how you
felt about it, the pump was broken! Remember refusing
to
believe that your partner didn't love you or that he/she
was just being who they were and you HATED it? Remember
how you fought it and fought it and then finally gave
up? Remember the gray hairs you gained?
to
believe that your partner didn't love you or that he/she
was just being who they were and you HATED it? Remember
how you fought it and fought it and then finally gave
up? Remember the gray hairs you gained?